Dear neighbours

Dear neighbours…

You are making far too much noise and too loud at 1am everyday for the past months. I went over a few times to ask you to kindly lower your volume. Apparently you have skin so thick that i cannot associate you to any mammals alive cause even dinosaur’s skin will fall short and not able to measure up to the thickness of your shamelessness; And on Sunday, knowing that i am in my room and can clearly hear what you say, you openly declared that you do not like me to go over to ask you to shut up cause it 1am and we need to sleep. Therefore i come to a conclusion that you prefer someone new to ask you to keep quiet…

I only got 1 problem and that is beside me, i got no one else. You left me with no choice but to phone our friendly neighbourhood police. =) And oh… your thick skin is again displayed when the police came the first time. you chose to keep quiet and pretend no one is home. Police left; you started with your noise.

Oh i forgot to mentioned that i called police again =) and ops you were caught in action… mmm did the policemen sent u pissing in your pants? Why are you so quiet now? I thought you got no shame but ah… u also got no balls no wonder don’t dare to open the door the first time policemen knocked on your door…

 

so dear neighbour SHUT IT ALREADY!!!! YOU DON’T LIVE IN A ISLAND THAT HAS ONLY YOU AND YOUR ROOMMATES! THIS IS SINGAPORE IT IS CLUTTERED! AND IT IS A FREAKING 1 AM ON A WEEKDAY!

Regards

J, your lovely next door neighbour =)

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”

from Owl City…

So well written.. all that i feel but unable to pen down….

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Everything Reminds Me of You

Dizzy.

That’s how you feel when you run into a significant other you haven’t seen in a long time. A bitter avalanche of icy memories plows into your chest at breakneck speed, stealing the very breath from your lungs. Gasping for air, there’s really no use fighting it; the blow is instantaneous and it’s overpowering. Your eyes land on this person, your heart immediately stops dead, your knees go weak and you internally panic. You force yourself to walk over, but before either of you say hello, you’ve already got an endless amount of things you secretly want to say and an equally lengthy list of questions you wish you could ask.

What affection the two of you once shared was absolutely beautiful, consequently rendering any unanticipated meetings thereafter twice as awkward. But as everyone always reminded you, life has a way of operating, God has a mysterious way of working, and sometimes things change without a moment’s warning. Even after it was all said and done, it’s still hard to imagine how things could’ve ever evolved from “always” to “never” in what seemed like a single dramatic heartbeat.

Months and months later, you run into this particular person unexpectedly and the realization hits you like a brick wall. The pain is still there. It’s almost as painful as the night you said goodbye. Enough time has passed to con you into thinking you’ve begun to heal, and of course you probably have, but then you see this person and suddenly those old familiar aches begin to hurt all over again. You were finally beginning to mend after what happened, the relationship withered and ended, however dramatically, but the moment you lock eyes with this person you once shared so many dreams with, your stomach turns and a bitter taste fills your mouth. You can barely breathe. Half of you aches for things to be the way they once were, the other half longs to forget the whole thing ever happened. Regardless of your role in the conclusion of the relationship, it left you shattered and bringing it up after all this time would only pour another dose of potent heartbreak for both of you.

So there you are, standing face-to-face, unsure of what to say aside from the typical small talk jabber. A myriad of emotions swirl through both your heads but they only make former lovers more confused. Maybe you hug an awkward I-haven’t-seen-you-in-forever gesture, but that familiar mixed scent of perfume and cologne makes it even more impossible to know how to act, brief as the impending conversation inevitably will be. You just can’t stop thinking “things will never be the way they used to be” and that’s what hurts most. You both know where your identities lie, Who ultimately claims your hearts and where your fortresses are… and those things are truly what matter most, but this unforeseen meeting is still severely painful and there’s no denying that. It keeps you both awake for nights.

As healing as it is, you can only drive around at night listening to The Swiss Army Romance so many times.

This is me being honest. I tossed and turned a lot last week. I thought about someone so much it was unhealthy.

So here’s hoping I fall asleep easier tonight if I send a simple message out into the void:

Girl,

I still care about you. I think about you all the time. I’m praying for you constantly. I want so badly to know you’re being taken care of. I wish you the best in life, not because you’ll surely find it, but because you deserve it. You deserve so much.

I just wish you knew how much I miss you.

Adam

I got myself an interesting job at a luxury yacht brokerage……

I was upset that after interviewed by 6 person and out of which 3 are C suite level (CFO, CIO and COO), 4 rounds of interview,  1 test and ENDURED my friends mock of the long and tedious interview process which is more fitting for CEO position than one that is for PA and I finally got through….

GUESS WHAT???

just 3 days before I joined, I was told that the management has a reshuffled…….. my position is no longer needed…. -_-

BUT THEN AGAIN….

It is definitely a blessing in disguised.

Just read their news…. the CEO and the other 3  C suites personnel  who interviewed and hired me are no longer with AP office!!!!

Now they are back to headquarters doing other things cause they messed up the AP office culture and caused a mass resignation……

Thank God never join…. The office must be in a mess now … wah heng ar!!!

HAha…. I applied with 2 agencies and got shortlisted for both but only to realise that it is the same role, same company.. haha what a coincident.

Oh well… for those who didnt know.. the company that i was suppose to join has some hiccups; the person i am suppose to serve was ask to go so they do not need me.. Now i am back to my job search…… =P

Under the weather

Sick.. and didn’t know it is so bad… 2 days mc

=( poor me….

The Alchemist

A portion from my favorite book… The Alchemist..

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(My heart is a traitor…… for i fear what tomorrow may bring)

“Why do we have to listen to our hearts?” the boy asked, when they had made camp that day.

“Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you’ll find your treasure.”

“But my heart is agitated,” the boy said. “It has its dreams, it gets emotional, and it’s become passionate over a woman of the desert. It asks things of me, and it keeps me from sleeping many nights, when I’m thinking about her.”

“Well, that’s good. Your heart is alive. Keep listening to what it has to say.”

“My heart is a traitor,” the boy said to the alchemist, when they had paused to rest the horses. “It doesn’t want me to go on.”

“That makes sense. Naturally it’s afraid that, in pursuing your dream, you might lose everything you’ve won.”

“Well, then, why should I listen to my heart?”

“Because you will never again be able to keep it quiet. Even if you pretend not to have heard what it tells you, it will always be there inside you, repeating to you what you’re thinking about life and about the world.”

“You mean I should listen, even if it’s treasonous?”

“Treason is a blow that comes unexpectedly. If you know your heart well, it will never be able to do that to you. Because you’ll know its dreams and wishes, and will know how to deal with them.

“My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer,” the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.”

“Every second of the search is an encounter with God,” the boy told his heart.

“Everyone on earth has a treasure that awaits him,” his heart said. “We, people’s hearts, seldom say much about those treasures, because people no longer want to go in search of them. We speak of them only to children. Later, we simply let life proceed, in its own direction, toward its own fate. But, unfortunately, very few follow the path laid out for them—the path to their destinies, and to happiness. Most people see the world as a threatening place, and, because they do, the world turns out indeed, to be threatening place.

“So, we, their hearts, speak more and more softly. We never stop speaking out, but we begin to hope that our words won’t be heard: we don’t want people to suffer because they don’t follow their hearts.”

Starting afresh….

Yesterday was one of the rare nights that I did not cry myself to sleep. (Yes i have always been breaking down alone in my room….)

It is a daily decision to want to start afresh… just got to have a brand new start.  it will be good.

It will be for the better…

Moving along with life. =)

PS: No eyes has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him…..

Embark on a new journey

Finally after 1 year, I have ended my job search with a PA position and a 40% increment. Judging from the prospect and the increment, it is definitely a good move. Of course, more will be demanded from me but it is good. Since I am young, I do not have family commitments and etc it is a good idea, prefect timing to do work hard and shape my career.

With 10 odd days left with the current firm, I begin to think of what I have gain through out these years with them….

I started as a Senior assistant with the firm. I often think that it was a bad start and the most horrible period of my life. Nasty bosses and a backstabbing colleague, it was a horrible place to be in. For that year and half, I was so upset and depressed, everyday all I do after work was to drink so as to forget about the pain I faced at work. That was the reality I knew then but what  I did not know was God’s plan. Though, it was tough, I hanged on. During that period, I learnt to be resourceful and think on my feet. Also I  Even though it was not appreciated by them but it is a good skill to acquired. Eventually I could not take any further and applied for transfer and there was an opening for Confidential Secretary. I got through the interview and worked with 2 of the nicest bosses I ever had. They appreciated the efforts that I put in.

My bosses chose to take me as secretary despite knowing that I do not have secretarial experience, willingly took the risk of me messing up; I was given the chance to developed more skills such as diary/time management, handle difficult people, being firm and doing things with great conscientious. All these served as a stepping stone to my career. As I look back, what I gained is far more than what I expected. If I had never stepped into the firm, I may not have the chance to learn new skills, broaden my perspective and eventually get a better career and a pay that starts with 3 with only a secondary education.

It is not just the bosses… Colleagues played a big part too… During these years as secretary, I know more people and many good colleagues who became my friends. I learn alot from them. Especially S.C.. She is a senior manager. She encouraged me alot and dropped me ideas like… Mmmm you are capable, should go for a PA position get a PA pay and be below 1 person and above all. Even though you are a secretary it is possible… she told me not to be discourage, continue on. Since you are single, should try to do something for your career for your life. Don’t grow old in the firm. Many many things… It like I begin to believe that sky is the limit.. and it is possible for me to have a successful career… Through all her encouragements I believe in myself and what I am capable of.

It is a very positive environment to work in. Though it cannot give me the prospect I am looking for but there are many good things that I will bring along. I hope I will be someone who impact others the way I am impacted in my current office.

This is the common grace of God. Someone who do not know God, but understand and believes in others potential and capability.

This belief she instilled in me, I will bring along together with her friendship =)