MY LIFE IS MY OWN

It is a long struggle…  I have been running away cause i never want to face the reality of where i am. To admit that i wasted my life was diffcult. When things are not the way it should be, I blamed circumstances  but I never blamed myself for not doing anything to make it happened. It has been like these for the past 2 years. Since my emotional energy was gone and I harden my heart towards people and decides to be selfish.

Finally something in me cracked. I started to be fustrated with myself and came to this conclusion…

MY LIFE IS MY OWN…

I cannot go on living the way I did. I cannot stay at where I am and think that it for my life… cause the only person who will regret at the end of the day is me. At least if i try something maybe it works… I start to think of the possibility of having my desires and hopes fulfilled at my prime age. My mindset starts to change but at that point, I was still selfish and want to do it for my own gratification…

Last week service was my turning point. I came to a realisation about myself. I know I can never be happy without God… The four dimension life which Pastor talks abt. I began to think about what kind of life i live right now. Where my mood and security all depends on circumstances. I want to come back to the point where God is the centre. When to me all it matters is that God is with me.

I have my dreams and desires… I want to fulfill it but I want to fulfill it the way God leads me and not through selfish means.

God I pray that you will bring me back to where i left…. Make me the person You first intended me to be.

A do nothing Sunday

It is a wonderful feeling hee… Just do nothing but surf net, eat and sleep…

I was searching for an old anime that i enjoyed alot. Card captor sakura. Unfortunately I can’t find. =( so disappointing. but well still enjoy the fact that i did nothing for the whole day. hahaha 

Well well am planning for studies.. looking forward. but before that think will attend a language course. No harm knowing another language.  I will go for japanese language class. I hope it is fun. Oh ya i better plan for my finance. Better to have a monthly budget so that there is a guide of what i can spend per month. I hope i will succeed. hee…

Ermmm she is weird

I was coordinating a last minute internal meeting for my boss and 2 other bosses (1 male and 1 female boss). So i called their secretary. Let’s call her JW. It just happened that those 2 bosses shared the same secretary. It was urgent so i wanted an answer quickly. JW decides that she is not gonna be helpful and she said: “then u call her yourself lo” my reply: “alright, what time her meeting ends” so she gave me the time grudgingly. After we hang up for 2 mins, she called again and say, her lady is in bad mood and she do not want to talk to her and ask me to call myself.  so i agreed.. But before the time is up, JW chicken out and decides to advise me her lady boss’ decision. She must be feeling real pissed cause she wanted to scare me with “call my boss yourself” but i agreed to it. Well, if boss in bad mood, things still got to be done.

at 4.35pm - JW thought she got a chance to get back at me so that she can balance out her anger for not backing off at her threat. But it was a wrong move. She forgot that there was a conference call with a overseas partner at 4.30pm to 5.30pm with her male boss and few other bosses (including my boss) then followed by the meeting i arranged. Therefore when receptionist reminded JW to ask her male boss to pop by quickly cause the rest are waiting. She decided to send a nasty email to me and CC all the 3 bosses and receptionist questioning me about the change but the matter of fact is, it is a totally different meeting. The one i was arranging was a brainstorming discussion at 5.30pm.

Her email at 4.35pm goes like this:

“Why is the conference call change to 4.30pm.”

(I think either her boss or the receptionist told her is the different thing)

Her email at 4.37pm when she realise she got confused:

“Sorry, I made a mistake, this is another meeting. Please ignore the previous msg”

And she got to reply to me and CC whoever she had CC in the previous email.

In the end she embarrassed herself. She gotta admit that it a mistake from her side and got even more fustrated cause she cannot get me into trouble.

Haizzz she must be too free at work that is why stir trouble but in the end embarrassed herself. Anyway she amuses me … Check before bitting la.. save alot of embarrassement ya…

I think i really got better things to do than to fight office politics with her.