White Love Story

Wishlist

TOP OF MY WISH LIST is a LOEWE WALLET!!!!!!! It only $490… but well I will buy it in February as a valentine’s day present for myself cause no date la ahhahah.. (Hahah so proud of myself! I found a good excuse to buy it without feeling guilty… so happy now…)

Oh ya i changed my blog theme… it is so much cheery now… This reflects my moods perfectly. I am happy and enjoying my life. Unlike few months ago. I was feeling grouchy and unhappy. What happened? I guess it is the results of a changed mindset and a decision to be happy. After I made that decision, My focus shift from negative to positive and constantly on a look out for things that can made me happy. Thru this I learnt to find joy in little things and bit by bit my life begins to move upwards and i become more positive. Which is a good thing. Now enjoying every bit of life and is always better to be happy.

Christmas is COMING….. Man i really missed that Christmas with you. The Christmas 6 yrs ago was a beautiful memory. I can still remember what it feels like to hold your hand and stroll down the orchard street that was decorated with blue and white lights. We said nothing; just enjoying the silence and each others presence. I wondered it was beautiful because of the decorations or because you were beside me then. Hee….

How are you now? Have you found the person who can give you the reason to smile? I really hope you do… You deserve happiness and a smiling face. I just hope that I can see your happy face. Cause I always love your smiles. (^.^)

Namida (Again?! Nah it another song…..)

Lyrics in Kanji

泣いてないて泣いた日々を背に　僕らもう1回強くなれ
臆病なフリして　逃げちゃだめだろう
そんなことくらいわかるだろう
きっと何万回　倒れても　きっともう1回　乗り越える
君の声　届くだろう　どこまでも　ずっと　まっすぐに…

思いどおりには　いかない日々
意気がることで　ごまかした気持ち
何かが壊れそうで　涙があふれそうで
素直になることができず
素顔になることができず
逃げ出すことばかりじゃ　想いは
いつまでも届かない
描いたゴールに立ち向かっていくんだ
雨風　受けても　立ち向かっていくんだ
あれよ　あれよと　時は過ぎてく
だけど　誰もが　きっと強くなる
ごまかした気持ちのままじゃ　押し殺した日々じゃダメだ
一度きりの人生の　階段を　今　登る

※ repeat

届きそうで　届かないよ
掴めそうで　掴めないよ
いつもの　いくつもの臆病が僕の腕を引っ張る
離してよ　もう　行くよ　ここじゃない
今からでも遅くない
僕の頬をつたう　涙はこれで最後と決めた

まだ終わってない　終わっちゃいない　何も　まだ始まっちゃいない
答えは　まだ　出しきっちゃいない　まだ　諦めてない
僕が僕でいることの意味も訳も　喜びも味わっていない
一人でもう立ってる　僕だけの明日が待っている

涙ふいて　顔を上げて　ここからって　空見上げて
君笑って　手を伸ばして
一つの想いへ辿り着くまで

季節外れの　風が吹く
本当の気持ちに背を向けて行きていくよりは
多分いいよね　目指したあの場所へ

※ repeat

Lyrics in Romaji

omoi doori ni wa ika nai hibi
iki garu koto de gomakashi ta kimochi
nani ka ga koware sou de namida ga afure sou de
sunao ni naru koto ga deki zu
sugao ni naru koto ga deki zu
nigedasu koto bakari ja omoi wa
itsu made mo todoka nai
egai ta gooru ni tachimukatte ikun da
amekaze ukete mo tachimukatte ikun da
are yo are yo to toki wa sugite ku
dakedo dare mo ga kitto tsuyoku naru
gomakashi ta kimochi no mama ja oshi koroshi ta hibi ja dame da
ichido kiri no jinsei no kaidan wo ima noboru

※ repeat

todoki sou de todoka nai yo
tsukame sou de tsukame nai yo
itsumo no ikutsu mo no okubyou ga boku no ude wo hipparu
hanashite yo mou iku yo koko ja nai
ima kara de mo osoku nai
boku no hoo wo tsutau namida wa kore de saigo to kime ta

mada owatte nai owaccha i nai nani mo mada hajimaccha i nai
kotae wa mada dashi kiccha i naimada akiramete nai
boku ga boku de iru koto no imi mo wake mo yorokobi mo ajiwatte i nai
hitori de mou tatteru boku dake no ashita ga matte iru

namida fuite kao wo agete koko kara tte sora miagete
kimi waratte te wo nobashite
hitotsu no omoi he tadori tsuku made

kisetsuhazure no kaze ga fuku
hontou no kimochi ni se wo mukete ikite iku yori wa
tabun ii yo ne mezashi ta ano basho he

※ repeat

nai te nai te nai ta hibi wo se ni bokura mou ikkai tsuyoku nare
okubyou na furishite nige cha dame darou
sonna koto kurai wakaru darou
kitto nan man kai taore te mo kitto mou ikkai norikoeru
kimi no koe todoku darou doko made mo zutto massugu ni

Lyrics in English

No matter how many thousands of times I’ve cried
I’ll always get over it
I can’t act stupid to escape it
That kind of situation, you understand, right?
Now it’s the last time, the last chance
Even if it fails, don’t be scared
Being sad or depressed
Or having loved, there’ll be a day
When you’re cured
In those days when things don’t go according to plan
The feeling of being deceived
It’s like something being broken
The tears begin overflowing
It’s impossible to be unaffected
It’s impossible to show a frank face
If I’m always avoiding it
Thinking about it even now I won’t stop
It’s not finished
It can’t be finished
Nothing has even started
The answer hasn’t been received
I can’t give up
I haven’t even felt the significance, meaning and happiness of my existence
Something anyone needs
I’m waiting for my tomorrow
Stepping over those crying over and over days
I’ll become strong
I shouldn’t pretend to be stupid to escape it
That kind of situation, you understand, right?
Being put down many thousands times
I’ll always get over it
Your voice will arrive, right?
No matter where
It will be heard immediately.

ketsumeishi – namida(涙)

Kanji Title: 涙

思うまま泣いて笑う君は　俺の心奥底まで響いた
周り見ずに1人傷つき　そこで己脆さに気付き
人目はばからずに涙流して　嫌なことから無理矢理羽ばたいて
答え出す自分の中で　涙、乾いたら違う眺め
時に夢やぶれ涙溢れ　まだある先進むべき明日へ
弱さを見せる　怖さも癒える　ありのままで俺で居れる
抑えこんだ感情なら今出そう　ありのまま生きるならば今だぞ
涙の数だけ大きくなる訳　そこに本当の自分があるだけ

溢れた感情は単純にこぼれる涙　止めずに泣いて枯れるまで
溢れた感情は単純に疲れた君を　そっと包んで忘れるため

いくつも熱く胸をめぐる　感情は瞳に溢れてくる
いつでも泣きたい時　泣けばいい　ありのまま思うまま涙に
ただこらえて　気持ち抑えて　一人で強がることはやめて
人陰に逃げずに俺と二人で　こぼれた滴強さに変えて
涙は乾き　目の前の鏡に写る　その瞳の輝きは
忘れない　もう隠さない　泣いても最後にまた笑いたい
これから生きていけば涙するもの　それこそが君が今生きること
今は何も言わなくていい　涙を流すそれだけでいい

溢れた感情は単純にこぼれる涙　止めずに泣いて枯れるまで
溢れた感情は単純に疲れた君を　そっと包んで忘れるため

君と出会って　夢追っかけて
少しずつ形になって　また悩んで
何でだろう？　悩んでんだろって
やけになり　独り身でのnight and day の中で
人に傷つき　時にムカつき　自分の弱さに気付き
ズキズキする胸の鼓動を　抑える感情論を
唱え出すことで　こらえたところで　答えは壊れた心で
泣いて　泣き疲れるまで　湧いて　湧き溢れ出てくるだけ
目に一杯にため込んだ　涙と引き替えに
この機会にまた一つずつ　強くなりつつ
古い靴　脱ぎ捨て歩いてゆく

胸に溢れたその想いを　泣いて(泣いて)　笑って(笑って)　表せるなら
孤独に泣いた夜も　聞かせてよ(泣いて)　笑って(泣いて)　何度でも

溢れた感情は単純にこぼれる涙　止めずに泣いて枯れるまで
溢れた感情は単純に疲れた君を　そっと包んで忘れるため

Romaji Title: namida

omou mama naite warau kimi wa ore no kokoro okusoko made hibiita
mawari mizu ni hitori kizutsuki soko de onore moro sa ni kizuki
hitome habakarazu ni namida nagashite iya na koto kara muriyari habata ite
kotae dasu jibun no naka de namida, kawaitara chigau nagame
toki ni yume yabure namida afure mada aru saki susumu beki asu e
yowa sa wo miseru kowa sa mo ieru ari no mama de ore de ireru
osaekonda kanjou nara ima dasou ari no mama ikiru naraba ima da zo
namida no kazu dake ookiku naru wake soko ni hontou no jibun ga aru dake

afureta kanjou wa tanjun ni koboreru namida tomezu ni naite kareru made
afureta kanjou wa tanjun ni tsukareta kimi wo sotto tsutsunde wasureru tame

ikutsu mo atsuku mune wo meguru kanjou wa hitomi ni afurete kuru
itsu demo nakitai toki nakeba ii ari no mama omou mama namida ni
tada koraete kimochi osaete hitori de tsuyogaru koto wa yamete
hito kage ni nigezu ni ore to futari de koboreta shizuku tsuyo sa ni kaete
namida wa kawaki me no mae no kagami ni utsuru sono hitomi no kagayaki wa
wasurenai mou kakusanai naite mo saigo ni mata waraitai
kore kara ikite ikeba namida suru mono sore koso ga kimi ga ima ikiru koto
ima wa nani mo iwanakute ii namida wo nagasu sore dake de ii

afureta kanjou wa tanjun ni koboreru namida tomezu ni naite kareru made
afureta kanjou wa tanjun ni tsukareta kimi wo sotto tsutsunde wasureru tame

kimi to deatte yume oikkakete
sukoshi zutsu katachi ni natte mata nayande
nande darou? nayande n daro tte
yake ni nari hitori mi de no night and day no naka de
hito ni kizutsuki toki ni mukatsuki jibun no yowa sa ni kizutsuki
zukizuki suru mune no kodou wo osaeru kanjouron wo
tonae dasu koto de koraeta tokoro de kotae wa kowareta kokoro de
naite naki tsukareru made waite waki afure dete kuru dake
me ni ippai ni tamekonda namida to hikikae ni
kono kikai ni mata hitotsuzutsu tsuyoku naritsutsu
furui kutsu nugi sutete aruite yuku

mune ni afureta sono omoi wo naite (naite) waratte (waratte) arawaseru nara
kodoku ni naita yoru mo kikasete yo (naite) waratte (naite) nando demo

afureta kanjou wa tanjun ni koboreru namida tomezu ni naite kareru made
afureta kanjou wa tanjun ni tsukareta kimi wo sotto tsutsunde wasureru tame

English Title: Tears

You, who laugh and cry as you see fit, resounded to the depths of my heart
Injured and alone, I don’t look around myself; and there I notice my fragility
In a glimpse, without hesitation, tears flow; I flap my wings against my will, from something I don’t like
I start to answer within myself; my tears, when they dry, I’ll have a different outlook
Sometimes dreams fail, tears overflow, I should move toward what’s ahead, toward tomorrow
I show my weaknesses, my fears are cured, I can exist as I am
I’m going to push out my immobilized feelings; if I live as I am, then this is the present
There’s a reason that the amount of my tears is so great; the real me is over there

The emotions that brimmed over are simply spilling tears; crying without stopping, until I wither away
The emotions that brimmed over softly and simply envelop you who are tired, so that you can forget

Many passionate hearts come around, and eyes overflow with feelings
It’s always alright to cry when you want to, just enduring the tears as I am, as I see fit
Surpressing my feelings, when I’m alone I stop pretending to be strong
Not running into the shadows, the drops spilled between just the two of us, change into strength
The tears dry, and the sparkling of your eyes is reflected in the mirror before my own
I won’t forget it, I won’t hide it anymore; even if I cry, I want to laugh again in the end
If I can live from this point on, crying, that is life
It’s alright not to say anything right now; the tears are flowing, and that’s just fine

The emotions that brimmed over are simply spilling tears; crying without stopping, until I wither away
The emotions that brimmed over softly and simply envelop you who are tired, so that you can forget

Coming across you, following my dreams
Forming little by little, and worrying again
Why is that? Why do I worry?
In despair every night and day that I’m alone
Hurting people, sometimes feeling sick, becoming aware of my weaknesses
Calling upon the sentimental argument that surpresses the throbbing pulse of my heart
I endured it no matter what, the answer is in my broken heart
I cry until I’m tired of it; I get excited, the excitement just starts to gush forth
In my eyes I saved up just the opposite of tears
This chance is little by little, becoming stronger
Throwing away my old shoes, I walk on

Cry about the feelings that brimmed over in your heart (cry), laugh about them (laugh), if you can show them
Let me hear about the nights you cried in loneliness (cry), laugh about them (laugh), any number of times

The emotions that brimmed over are simply spilling tears; crying without stopping, until I wither away
The emotions that brimmed over softly and simply envelop you who are tired, so that you can forget

Finally

Finally…… absoluteyou.blogspot.com is up…. Do visit the site… It is about fashion, dress sense and personal grooming…. hope you guys like it…

Imagination

Was inspired by the movie “Secret”. It talks about your mind/thinking. The power that unleashed when you think of positive things and probability of good things to happen when you train your mind to think positive. In the movie, there was a story of a man who did a tag board with the pictures of the house you wish to own, the yatch that you will buy and etc; constantly looking and imagining it , eventually it became a reality in his life.

How this movie inspired me?

I always hoped to have good working relationship with my bosses and colleagues. Doing work with excellence and be able to be someone who can impact people. I want to be a dependable person. But because of my temperament and the obsession of changing my mind as soon as I decides; (I admit I am flippant) it becomes difficult for people to think that I am dependable. So I want a change and start to imagine how it is like to have a good working relationships with bosses and colleagues. People to find favour with me. I picture myself being and excellence worker, effective, stable, resourceful and smart. As I start imagining, slowly, I become who I imagined myself to be. Slowly but surely the change is taking place.

I am glad that I have a breakthrough in my thought life. Cause I no longer feel defeated and unhappy. Positive things are happening around me. I am glad…… =)

About Jean

 

Jean

You are Blue Wolf, who is open, cheerful and a carefree type of person. 
You possess very original atmosphere, and do not like to adjust yourself to others. 
You prefer to act on your own and as you like it.
Therefore, at first people think you as a cool person, but once they get to know you, and trust is born, they will understand your good sense of humor and a friendly nature.
You tend to be indifferent and candid to opposite sex as well, so men think you as very bold woman. 
But you are actually a soft hearted person. 
You have no thought of depending on others. 
You believe other people are other, you are you. 
And will go on living your own way.
You will not be influenced by emotions. 
You are true to your life as well. 
Because you tend to be indifferent to the people and situation around you, you give an impression of being thoughtless person. 
But once asked to do something, you will carry it out by putting in ever effort you possess. 
You are very responsible person.
You tend to change your mind quickly. 
And because you like changes, people think you as temperamental. 
You have great energy to be able to carry out many things at once, and even if you are busy, once you set your mind, you will definitely carry it out.
You are unique type of woman. 
You take time to find the best romance. 
You look for honest person, and would act cautiously towards them. 
When you get married, you will be good at carrying out housework, and will be able to create a happy family.

 

HAHAH What is your say about above???

Are You in Love with Someone Who Don’t Love You?

Loving Someone Who Doesn’t Love You Back

(Article from: www.inmyheels.com)

It’s a wretched, miserable existence when you’re in love with someone who doesn’t love you back. Whether their eyes glaze over when they see you, or you’re “just a friend”, it sucks. It can do serious damage to self esteem. You find yourself wishing, trying, and thinking (maybe even obsessively. It’s ok, I won’t tell) and you can very well reach a point of despair. What I’ve noticed would happen in a situation like this is sometimes you may find yourself trying to alter yourself to the person’s pleasing. Or worse – what you THINK that person likes. Sometimes desperation makes you do things that you wouldn’t do otherwise. I just wanted to put this out there for the eager eyes that read this.

That person’s – or anyone’s – opinion of you for that matter does not define you or your value.
You are not any less smart, sexy, clever, talented, anything. Thinking in this way only aggravates the effects you feel from rejection. It’s a quick launch to a negative space that will certainly affect all aspects of your life. I’m not saying don’t be sad. But know who you are.

Don’t Cheapen Yourself

You know exactly what I’m talking about. Doing things you don’t want to do, that you wouldn’t do, that devalues or humiliates you to appease a soul. It’s not going to make them love you anymore and some unsavory characters would gladly lead such a circus at the expense of their conscience at old age (stay with me here) for the attention and care from such a wonderful person such as yourself. Who doesn’t love some TLC? Don’t compromise yourself. I’m going to say it again. DON’T compromise yourself.

Accepting Reality

It’s ok to hurt. To feel pain, to feel sad. But it’s not ok to refuse that person’s rejection, obsess, and bring yourself to new degrees of low. The bad news is the object of your affection doesn’t share those same feelings with you. But don’t count yourself out yet. There is someone who can appreciate you and return your adoration, like you deserve somewhere out there. I say deserve with conviction because I know – its so easy to take even small common courtesies as signs of someone warming up to you because you want that love so badly. But, my friend, that’s a baseline. Common courtesy… is common. Or at least it ought to be. It’s not love.

Be Good To Yourself

You will find that I’ll say this often because when I’m seeking that advice, I hear it so very often and I agree with it. We are so very good at beating ourselves up for what we deem our shortcomings. How about some of that adoration for that person… for yourself. You have the right to feel good you know, as you work on breaking that cycle and refocusing yourself and your sights on something or someone else. Loving someone who doesn’t love you back hurts like hell. So for your own sake, think about implementing these things that I’ve mentioned. Easier said than done, trust me – I know. But when you’re ready to be done with the whole misery aspect of it all, it will deliver a very necessary breakthrough.

Tuesday

Tuesday was an interesting day… I went to morning prayer meeting and it was good. That day Pastor prayed about relationships with people. One of them is relationship at work.

My work relationship with most people are ok… Usually on the friendly side. Of course I cannot expect the whole world to like me. There will definately be one or two that cannot stand me and i can’t tolerate them. Well it life!! I can’t make sure that everybody likes me but I won’t be difficult when managing people whom i really cannot tolerate. Got to be a win win situation. So overall office relationship is good.

Though have been working for nearly 1 decade; It is still a struggle to have a positive image. As you know i got a bad experience in my previous department.

Currently both bosses treats me well.

Lady boss – always bought me gifts when she went on holiday. Recently she went Japan. She notice that i like Hello Kitty; she got me a hello kitty bear, hello kitty mobile “decor” and a hello kitty pouch. Hee.. I am so happy.

Male boss – have been nice and tolerant of silly mistakes i made. Many people told me that he treated me alot better than his previous secretary. I think so too…

In whatever i do i give my best and try to be a careful as possible. Work given to me usually takes a longer time to complete as i do not want to make stupid mistakes (which i did when i just started working for them). Meticulous was never my strength. Usually i will look at the big picture and forgot about the details… Now I got to focus on details so that work can run smoothly. Tedious…

Ops!!! off topic… Now back to Tuesday

Tuesday – I was chatting with a manager whom i get along well with. She always help and guide me. So Talkative me went in to her cubical and started a conversation. I ate her granola bar.. haha greedy i know.. She told me something that I always wanted to know; that is what my boss thinks about me as a secretary. I always wonder if i reached the benchmark or failed big time.. I wanted to ask them but too scared to know the truth (ostrict i know). She told me that i was praised.. HAHAHAHHA

Boss told managers that he was impressed by his new secretary (and that is me) and that i am clever!!! HAHAH.. Probably because there was a comparsion…Previous secretary never go an extra mile; and probably because I am web savvy and able to provide him with information.

What i’ve done that impressed him? Few months back I assisted him with his itinerary for a business trip and that country he went was not exactly convenient. Domestic flights don’t operate daily. He mentioned that he will drive to the location if the flight is full or do not operate on that day of transit. While arranging his itinerary; I decided to make things easier if he has to drive. I went online and search for information of the country, the map, the driving distance from point A to B and cost of renting vehicle. Print them and gave it to him. You know google do wonders. After that email all the documents to him so that he has a soft copy. But in the end he do not need to drive, the flight was available. To me what I did was to give information which i think would be useful and make things easier but little did i realise that things like these impressed him. I am really happy to know… =D It encourages me. Going the extra mile do makes a different. I still think i can improve and do even better… Training in process…

THANK GOD FOR THE INTERESTING DAY!!!

I really enjoy morning prayer meeting… Never know that i can wake up so early hahah

Beloved Friend

What were your thoughts when you were packing his clothes.
Do you feel hopeless?
Do you feel helpless?

How did you feel when you saw that ring?
Did it remind you of that man who promised you happiness?
Or did it remind you of those broken promises?

The sorrow that feels the air; was it my sympathy or was that you?